


faded heart

by fuckinshiiitmydude



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: House Party, M/M, Smut, Underage Drinking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-31
Updated: 2018-08-31
Packaged: 2019-07-04 22:10:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15850404
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fuckinshiiitmydude/pseuds/fuckinshiiitmydude
Summary: The students at Middleborough High enjoy one last hurrah before graduation.Jeremy and Michael go to a party. Alcohol and feelings make for an interesting combination.





	faded heart

**Author's Note:**

> 10 bonus points to whoever catches my waitress reference

“Ready for this?” Michael said with a smirk, looking over at Jeremy from the driver’s seat. He had just turned the car off and the soft reggae of Bob Marley cut off shortly.

“Hell yeah,” Jeremy grinned back, unbuckling his seatbelt and looking out his window. His view showed Jake’s new house, almost as extravagant as the one from junior year, lit up and practically vibrating with the amount of noise seeping out from the inside.

“I can’t believe this is our last party at the Dillinger mansion,” Michael sighed sadly once the pair got out of the car. He grabbed the six pack of beer he got from the guy at Spencer’s Gifts from the backseat as the duo made their way to the entrance.

“That’s not true! We still have all summer,” Jeremy protested, shoving his shoulder up against his friend’s teasingly. 

“I know, I know. But this is the last time we’ll all still be classmates, because next week we’ll be graduating. And then in three months we’ll be at college, and it’ll all be over,” the darker teen responded and pushed up his glasses. 

“Geez, you’re such a downer,” Jeremy mumbled and opened the heavy front door.

“Only for you,” Michael snuck in a response before the overpowering music took over their eardrums. 

The entryway was dark and colored lights reflected dimly off the walls. Michael could feel the floor rumble softly under his feet as people stumbled and strolled from room to room, loud shouts coming from every corner of the house. 

“It’s my favorite friends!” Rich shouted from the top of the stairway, elongating the last word obnoxiously. His arms were raised in dramatic happiness and smile spread lazy and wide over his pink cheeks. The couple watched as their shorter friend slowly stumbled his way down the crowded staircase to reach the bottom. “How’s it hanging my dudes?” he snagged himself between them, wrapping a heavy arm around each of their shoulders. 

Michael and Jeremy shared a smirk. “Obviously not as good as you,” Michael deadpanned with a smile, adjusting his stance to take on the new weight.

“Where’s Jake?” Jeremy asked.

“Beating some junior girls at beer pong,” Rich slurred. The song changed suddenly, causing him to take his limbs back and clumsily dance in front of his friends. “I love this song!”

Michael and Jeremy shared an amusing look. “We’re gonna go grab a drink,” Jeremy told his intoxicated friend who was too busy trying to stay on rhythm to listen. 

“Okay, my goal is to get on his level tonight,” Michael said after the pair made their way to an empty spot on the crowded kitchen counter. Jeremy grabbed one of the large liquor bottles and two solo cups while Michael cracked open two of the beers. 

Pouring each of them a shot, Jeremy handed Michael the plastic cup. “What are we toasting to?”

“Fuck toasts. Let’s get drunk,” Michael responded, lamely tapping his cup against Jeremy’s and slammed the drink down his throat.

Jeremy laughed and copied him, both of them grimacing while chasing down the bitterness with a swig of their beer. 

“Jeremy!” Brooke’s shrill voice rang over the strong bass. Both boys looked over at the excitable herd approaching them, clad in small skirts and glow stick necklaces. “You made it!” Brooke exclaimed and gave Jeremy a small side hug. 

“Yep,” Jeremy said. “Hi, Chloe,” he greeted Brooke’s friend. 

“Christine’s holding the ping pong table and I haaaave to beat you at beer pong,” Chloe said while Michael grabbed the bottle and poured another shot into each of their empty cups. 

“As long as I get Jeremy on my team!” Brooke exclaimed, hugging Jeremy’s thin shoulder. 

“Fine. Let’s take down these pussies, Mell,” Chloe clanked her plastic glass against Michael’s and downed the shot that he’d just poured for each of the group. 

Michael and Jeremy shared a quick look before shrugging, polishing off their drinks, and following the tipsy girls to the backyard. 

___________________________

Twenty minutes later, both Michael and Jeremy were feeling the buzz. The game had taken a while to start (mainly just trying to find Christine in the thick gobs of people), but was now in the heat of the climax. Jeremy and Brooke had four cups to knock over, while Michael and Chloe were down to two. Christine stayed to referee, but was mostly just flailing her arms around and yelling ‘woo!’ whenever the opportunity arose. 

Michael watched Jeremy’s tongue snake its way to the side of his mouth, stuck outside in concentration. His piercing eyes were focused across the stained, faded ping pong table and right arm perched up, ready to toss the small ball clutched in his fingertips. Even drunk, Michael noted the quiet poise that inhabited his best friend, his walls temporarily knocked down by his intoxication. He stood up a little straighter, his shoulders unrestrained by anxiety to land at their broad stance. 

God, he was pretty. 

Michael blinked heavily and tore his gaze from across the table. He didn’t really know how long they had been playing for, but from the warmness pooling through his limbs and the lightness encompassing his brain, he knew he was, at the least, tipsy. Sober Michael was able to keep his not-so-friendly feelings about his best friend on the back burner. However, just like Jeremy, those four shots of liquid courage had begun to do their job, and his anxieties were peeling away. 

Drunk Michael was the only time he allowed himself to indulge in Jeremy, to really sit in his feelings and facts that he wanted to do a lot more than was required of a best friend. For instance, whenever Jeremy lost in a game, Michael wanted to lean over his beanbag and kiss the pout off his face until it turned into an open mouthed pant. Or whenever they had sleepovers and Jeremy would shower and come out in nothing but a flimsy towel, Michael had wanted to tear it from his hips and feast his eyes on the one part of Jeremy he hadn’t seen. 

Of course, he would never let those sinful thoughts take over. He was fine with suppressing his feelings; his friendship with Jeremy was much more important than a silly crush. Still, it always felt good conjuring up these imaginary scenarios. 

“Yay!” Michael’s zoning out was quickly interrupted by the sound of cheers from the other side of the table. Looking down, he saw the damning ping pong ball in one of the full cups. Fuck.

“Good job, Jeremy!” Christine squealed, jumping to give said boy a hug, squeezing herself against him tightly. 

Michael felt his stomach coil at the sight. He hated that he felt so...jealous. He knew that Christine and Jeremy were just friends at this point, and that Jeremy had taken Christine’s kind rejection after three dates a little hard, but it had been over a year, and he really didn’t have anything to be jealous about. Still, his completely unjust envy still made his heart sting whenever they interacted. 

“Mell!” Chloe snapped angrily. “It’s your turn,” she gestured towards the cup full of beer.

Michael drank. 

__________________________

All of the shots, beers, and friends’ mysterious cups accompanied with a “Drink this!” ended up getting to Michael. The later into the night, the brighter, louder, and more fun the whole party became for Michael. He truly didn’t understand why sober Michael didn’t like to dance in public. Dancing was a blast. Or why he never took off his trusty hoodie. His arms never knew how wonderful it felt to have the warm breeze cooling his sweaty limbs. 

He didn’t know what song was blasting through the outdoor speakers while he jumped around in the mosh pit of teens. Michael thought most of the Top 40 songs sounded the same to him, all easy thecho beats and lazy bass. It just felt like the same song for the past twenty minutes, but if the hair sticking to his forehead and lazy smile plastered on his flushed face showed anything, it was that he was definitely enjoying himself. 

He looked over to his right at Jeremy. Fuck, Jeremy was awesome. He looked so effortlessly cool, all former anxieties lifted from his thin body, waving his gangly arms so haphazardly as he feet clanked off beat. His eyes looked darker than usual, and his cheeks were pink from the alcohol and cardio. 

Michael couldn’t help but stare.

The pale teen turned and met his friend’s eyes. He mouthed something dramatically, but Michael couldn’t hear over the intense melodies. 

“What?” Michael screamed back. Jeremy rolled his eyes and stepped closer, his face coming to rest on the side of Michael’s, hands cupping his ear to share a secret.

“This is, like, crazy fun,” Jeremy spoke at a normal tone, the hot breath and vibrations of his voice making Michael’s stomach flutter.

He gave his friend a toothy grin. Jeremy laid his heavy head against Michael’s shoulder, still moving his limbs to the music lethargically. “You’re crazy fun!” Michael yelled back, running a hand through his hair and refusing to move his eyes from his dance partner. 

The heavy weight was lifted off of Michael’s shoulder, and clammy hands clasped his. Michael looked down, taking a second to breathe. 

Jeremy, completely unaffected by the touch, continued on his drunken conversation. “Dance with me!” He moved his whole body, letting his head lull back. Michael almost grabbed his waist and started kissing that pretty exposed neck. Almost. 

Instead, he resisted the temptation and kept room for Jesus. He left himself be swung around by his best friend, laughing whenever Jeremy tried to spin him. This was the only time in his life he wished he knew the words to the songs, just so he could sing along with Jeremy. 

Michael didn’t know how long this went on for, until Jeremy let go, loudly whispering he was going to get a drink, and disappeared into the house. He didn’t think anything of it, until it was three whole songs later and his friend was still absent. There wasn’t much longer he could take of Brooke and Chloe grinding on each other, so he made it his mission to find Jeremy. 

His plan was a little flawed. It took some time for his eyes to adjust to the indoors, and he couldn’t see any distinct faces in the crowd. The party had died down, although there was a still a good amount of chatter going around. He decided to make his way upstairs, stopping at the bathroom. 

He locked the door and gazed up at himself in the mirror. He face was flushed, hair mused from his constant jumping and tugging at it. His arms were bare save for his crew neck tee, accompanied by a pair of jeans. He rested arms on the counter, gazing into his reflection, trying to gain some composure. 

“You’re good. You’re awesome. Everything’s fine,” Michael chanted to himself softly, looking at the deep brown eyes behind smudged glasses. He stayed like that for who knows how long, until turning on the faucet suddenly and splashing some reality onto his overheated face and neck. He wiped his face on one of the decorative towels, not really giving two shits if Jake’s parents got mad. Hey, if towels are present, they might as well be used. 

After his quick pitstop, Michael continued his journey to find Jeremy. After entering two bedrooms that were, uh, occupied, he finally found what he was looking for. 

“Jer?” Michael spoke softly, stumbling into the small hall closet that was left adjacent by Jeremy’s intoxication. A small bulb hung from the ceiling to illuminate the walls. 

Jeremy turned his head, his back still facing the door. “Michael! Hey!” Michael shook his head at his friend’s generous greeting. 

Michael’s heart leaped at that. He bit his lip and clumsily plopped down on the carpeted floor next to Jeremy. “You okay?” His brain spun a little at his new position. 

Jeremy’s eyes were lidded and his slowly swayed back at forth, knees close to his chest. “I’m great. How cool is this closet though?”

Michael looked around, his eyes adjusting to the low lighting. It was surprisingly large for a closet. Being on the ground, he could see past the coats and bins to a little nook hidden behind hangers, hoarded with stuff. “I usually don’t associate closets with cool, but I get it,” Michael responded lazily back.

“I had a lot of fun tonight,” Jeremy turned his head towards Michael, the movement brushing their shoulders together. “Best party ever.”

“It’s not over yet!” Michael smiled. “I think I love parties now.”

Jeremy laughed heartily, eyes closing. Michael stared at him, hypnotized. “See? I told you. It’s a lot funner when you’re here.”

“Yeah?” Michael knew sober Jeremy could say something similar, but hearing those words in Jeremy’s open vibe somehow made the punch in his stomach harder. 

“Hell yeah. Helllll yeah,” Jeremy slurred, his voice dropping to a whisper. His face leaned over closer to his friend, eyes switching between his mouth and his forehead. 

Michael sucked in a breath, too afraid to breathe out when his best friend’s face was so close to his own. His eyes darted to Jeremy’s shoulders, too afraid to look up. “Jer,” he started in a sigh. He was drunk, Jeremy was drunk, but he knew this wouldn’t be a good idea. 

But Jeremy’s gazing at him like he made the world, eyes big and focused and tongue poking out, and fuck, he needs a bad idea. 

When Michael was bored or lonely, or a little of both, (and he would never admit to it) he would imagine the scenario in which he and Jeremy would have their first kiss. Sometimes, it’d be in Jeremy’s basement at 1 am after a late night video game session. The light illuminating from his shitty TV would make Jeremy look so pretty, and Michael would just...do it. It’d be soft and sweet, lazy and sleepy. 

Sometimes, it’d be in his P.T. Cruiser, when they’d been hotboxing the car for a few hours and the weed was hitting them both. They’d talk deep questions and feelings, and the kiss would be slow and languid, every sensory motor heightened. 

Michael had never imagined it like it really was; heavy pants, frantic hands, and quick, chaotic kisses. He didn’t know when the first kiss had stopped, but he knew he kept pulling away, a physical representation of his whirlwind thoughts. Jeremy’s lips were soft and nervous. 

“Stop fucking pulling away,” Jeremy stated against his lips, an ample breath coming from his nose. Michael felt thin fingers wrap around his face and shoulder as he collided with Jeremy again. This time, there wasn’t any quick pecks. Michael’s eyes opened when he felt Jeremy pry his lips open, but he didn’t flinch away. Fuck, kissing was great. 

They sat in silence for what felt like hours, both basking in the good, high feeling from their previous activities. The closet was small, and he didn’t know how long he could last in this position, no matter how much he loved being so alone and vulnerable with Jeremy. 

Panting softly, Michael got the courage to speak. “Jer, it’s so fucking hot in here.” 

Jeremy laughed, running a hand through his own hair. “Yeah it is.”

Michael licked his lips and shook his head, the unbearable heat winning over his desire to stay. He stood up slowly. “C’mon, Jer.” He held his hand down for Jeremy to take. 

Jeremy smiled and grunted dramatically as he was raised to his feet. He shuffled over to Michael to hug him. 

“You good?” Michael chuckled. 

“Yeah,” Jeremy nodded against his sweaty shoulder. 

__________________________

Downstairs, the party had died down significantly. Christine was sitting on the fireplace, her mouth on the shitty karaoke microphone and stumbling on lyrics. She performed to a small audience of people hitting their lows and planting themselves across the wrap around sofa. Michael could hear people conversing in the kitchen, the music from outside having been turned down significantly and no longer bouncing on the walls. 

“Jeremy!” Christine yelled a the pair reached the bottom stair. Michael was about to shush her when he realized no one would really have the senses to care. 

“Heyyy.” Michael looked behind his shoulder to see Jeremy jumping off the last step to greet his friend. He tried to not let him bother him so much when Jeremy plopped down next to her and rested his head on her shoulder. Instead, he followed the murmurs coming from the kitchen. 

“Mell, my man! Where have you been?” Jake sat on the counter, holding his hand out for a quick fist bump. 

“You know...chillin’,” Michael stammered. His drunkenness didn’t take away his awkwardness. Even though he’d gotten to know the popular kids better this past year, he still felt uncomfortable around them. The hierarchy was too permanent for him to really meld with the group. 

“Y’know, Tall Ass was gone for awhile too, there,” Rich grinned wolfishly from his spot at the table covered in plastic cups and empty bottles. 

“Yeah we just took a quick break to chill, we just chilled out,” Michael spoke quickly. He was too drunk to lie well. 

“Ayyeee Mell, get some!” Jake slurred, taking a swig of his almost empty beer. 

“What?” Michael blinked at the pair. 

“Y’all have soooo much sexual tension it was getting unbearable. ‘Bout time y’all fucked.” Rich laughed, taking out his phone. Michael saw a flash go off as Rich posed sloppily with his tongue out. 

Michael felt his cheeks heating up. “We didn’t fuck.” Wait, fuck. Wrong choice of words. Shit, shit, shit.

Rich and Jake shared a surprised look. “Did you hear that?!”

“What did you do then?” Rich pestered. 

“Nothing!” Michael protested, wishing he had his hoodie on so he could shove his hands into the big pockets. 

Jake rolled his eyes while Rich looked on with a suggestive smirk. 

Michael sighed and rolled his head back. “Can I just go home please?”

“Oh no, Mell. We may be drunk but you’re drunker, no way you’re driving home tonight. Better find yourself a bedroom before they all get snatched up,” Jake demanded. “But not my bedroom. Don’t want my sheets contaminated with any of your...DNA,” he scowled while Rich baffled. 

Michael groaned and walked out. An empty bedroom would be much better than getting pestered by his peers and being too plastered to properly defend himself. 

He could hear Jeremy and Christine singing before he saw them. They were still in the same position, with Jeremy draping himself over Christine like a rag doll, lazy smiles stitched onto their faces while some ABBA song played over their pitchy voices. 

A pang of jealousy shot through him like a burst of cold water. “Hey y’all, I’m gonna go to bed,” he spoke over the couch to the pair. 

“Goodnight, Michael!” Christine said cheerfully per usual.

“Goooodnight,” Jeremy waved limply, licking his lips as he looked over at Michael. Oh God. 

 

______________________________  
Michael felt so heavy as he slipped into an empty, dark bedroom. All the activities of his night had crammed themselves into his muscles and the carefully made bed never looked more inviting. 

“Fuck,” he sighed allowed as he kicked off his shoes and laid down on top of the blankets. There truly wasn’t anything better than cool pillows after an eventful evening. 

However, the relaxed position only allowed his mind to switch from his tired body to his racing thoughts. His drunkenness was wearing off, though the lightheadedness was still present as he began to replay memories in his brain. 

Wait. Him and Jeremy...kissed. Kissed! Kissed?

His eyes flashed open though his body stayed still. Holy fuck. The severity of their actions didn’t really hit him until now. Oh, God. This would change everything, Maybe Jeremy wouldn’t remember? But then would Michael have to tell him? That would be even worse than ignoring it altogether. 

Michael knew deep down he really want to ignore it. In fact, he wanted to continue what they’d done in that closet, maybe even take it to the next level. Now he had actual tangible memory to rely on, it was going to be impossible to not imagine doing more with his best friend. 

But, Jeremy was downstairs with Christine, and Michael couldn’t really do anything about it. Sure, if he was braver, he’d go right back to that living room and kiss the daylights out of Jeremy, take him back upstairs and have his pretty little way with him. All those shots could never give him that amount of fearlessness. He’d have to live with the constant jealousy forever stirring inside him, even though he knew that Christine wasn’t interested, and that love story opened and closed over a year ago. 

 

He’d also get to live with that ever fresh memory of Jeremy’s soft lips on his-and boy, what a memory. He raised a palm to cover his upper face thinking about how awkward he was. Jeremy’s words played over and over; why did he pull away? Imagine if he’d kept kissing, never complained about the heat- where they’d be. 

 

Michael threw his glasses on the bedside table blindly in the dark, content to just sleep on his wild thoughts. He was too out of it to really understand the weight of his actions and knew sleep would be the only opti-

“Michael?” a hushed voice hissed into the dark. 

Michael shot up quickly, leaning back on his hands. He rubbed his eyes with his left hand and reached for his glasses. “Yeah?” he responded, nervously recognizing Jeremy’s voice. “Shit,” he said, hearing a small crash as his glasse collided with the floor. “What’s up, dude?” Michael tried to act nonchalant as he leaned over the bed to try and feel through the darkness for his eyesight. 

Jeremy stood in the doorway, his outline darkened by the flooded hallway light. “Did I wake you up?” Michael could tell he was fidgeting even without his glasses. 

“No, no, man, you’re good,” Michael groaned as he finally felt the hard plastic under his fingertips. Bingo. “Come in.”

He had just finished adjusting his glasses when his sight was taken away yet again due to Jeremy shutting the door and creating darkness across the bedroom. “Oh shit, bad idea,” Jeremy mumbled after Michael heard a collision that he deducted to be between Jeremy’s leg and a bedpost. 

“Hold on, Jer,” Michael said, turning on his phone’s flashlight to fumble with the bedside lamp. “You okay?”

In the dim light, Michael could see he friend regaining his balance and proceeding to tumbling onto the bed. “Yeah. This bed is really nice,” Jeremy commented, laying on his back with his feet dangling off the side. 

Michael chuckled and shook his head. “Yeah. Better than the couch.” From his spot on the middle of the bed, he had direct eye contact with Jeremy’s midriff, which was slightly exposed from his move. He gulped. 

“This party rocked. Thanks for going with me,” Jeremy said, kicking off his shoes to reveal Pac-man themed socks. Michael could’ve sworn Pinky was mocking him.

Not to be intimidated by fabric, Michael copied his friend’s position, tossing off his high tops and hearing them clunk next to the sneakers. He sighed and tried not to think about how close they were. 

“I’m glad you had fun,” Michael responded sincerely. 

“Did you have fun?” Jeremy suddenly sounded a bit nervous.

“Yeah. Actually, I had a lot of fun,” Michael answered honestly, staring at the strange shadows on the ceiling. 

“Michael?” He could hear Jeremy turn on his side.

“Yeah?” His heart rate accelerated at the unknown lingering in their conversation. He was never nervous talking to Jeremy, but after their kiss(es), it felt like a brand new ball game. 

“Look at me,” he murmured.

It felt like centuries and milliseconds all at once by the time Michael was face to face with his friend. Jeremy’s arm was holding his own face, his eyes lidded. He still couldn’t think of anything to say.

“Did you have fun the whole time?”

“Mhm,” Michael answered tentatively, finding difficult to meet Jeremy’s eyes. 

“Even...in the closet?” Jeremy’s signature nervous stutter was creeping back into his vocabulary. 

Michael’s eyes shot up. He felt like he was burning from the inside out. He didn’t even know how to answer him. If he said yes, it would either go really awkwardly or fantastically. If he said no, he’d save their friendship but risk the chance of never being able to kiss him again. 

He’d rather take the former. 

“Yes,” Michael breathed out as solidly as his anxiety ridden mind would allow him to. He finally braced himself to look up at Jeremy.

“Oh. Cool. Me, too,” Jeremy stammered quickly. Now he wouldn’t meet Michael’s eyes.   
Michael felt his fiery insides turn to lava. Holy shit holy shit holy shit. Jeremy felt the same way? Well, even if he didn’t, he liked to kiss him? Michael couldn’t care about the difference between each interpretation. Instead, he let his instincts take over and leaned over to press his mouth roughly against his best friend’s. 

Jeremy’s eyes widened, not expecting the sudden shift. He quickly responded, softening Michael’s hard press and breathing out of his nose. Almost as quickly as he initiated it, Michael pulled away. 

“Shit, was that okay? I didn’t even ask-”

“Michael I fucking told you to stop pulling away,” Jeremy interrupted, using his hands to pull Michael’s face close to his own again. He could feel Michael’s smile against the side of his mouth. 

“I didn’t ask,” Michael murmured against his lips. “Can I kiss you?” 

He could barely finish his sentence before his mouth was preoccupied on Jeremy’s. The room was silent save for their quiet movements and heavy breathing. Michael could only think of this being pure bliss until he became brave and slipped his tongue in between Jeremy’s lips. The new position somehow made all the difference, and the noise that came out of Jeremy didn’t discourage him. 

Maybe it was the alcohol or the lust surging through his brain that gave Michael the confidence to sit up slightly and move his torso on top of Jeremy’s, placing his friend onto his original position on his back. He had imagined Jeremy under him so many times but it could never compare to the real deal, with roaming hands and soft features. 

Minutes passed of soft kissing and tangling tongues, Michael content to cage Jeremy between his arms while Jeremy’s hands massaged his shoulders. But suddenly he felt Jeremy buck his hips up onto his thigh and he realized there was so more much for them to do. 

“Hold on,” Michael whispered against Jeremy’s incessant lips, sitting up quickly to pull his shirt over his head. He was so glad he was drunk. This kind of courage wouldn’t be seen if he was sober. 

Jeremy took the hint and copied his actions, shucking his own shirt across the room. Michael looked back over his friend. Hair mussed from the activities of the night, face flushed red, and bare chest heaving up and down. Fuck, if Michael thought he was pretty before, he was on a whole other playing field now. 

“You’re really hot,” Michael admitted, thinking he had nothing to lose at this point. 

Jeremy looked up at him and smiled loopily. “You’re a good kisser.”

Michael feigned hurt, placing a hand on his heart. “You’re supposed to say I’m hot back. I’m offended.”

Jeremy laughed and crawled back close to his friend. “Complimenting your kissing skills wasn’t a compliment?” He reached up to his neck and pulled him back in for more kissing. 

Michael responded passionately, quickly deepening it to delve deeper into Jeremy’s mouth, determined to explore every part of Jeremy to find what made him tick. He moved his own hands to Jeremy sides,pushing their chests together so they were skin to skin. They both moaned at the feeling, Jeremy moving his hands to Michael’s hair, tugging on it roughly. 

Michael didn’t know how long he could last with just kissing, so he migrated south to plant bites on that long neck of Jeremy’s he’d been eyeing for years. He grinned when he heard the sigh escaping Jeremy’s throat when he finally got a taste of that sweet salty skin. 

“Shit, Michael, that feels so good,” Jeremy moaned, hands still buried in said boy’s hair.

The praise from Jeremy emboldened Michael to reach his hands south, brushing against Jeremy’s hard on evident through his jeans. Jeremy groaned, pulling Michael up for more kissing. “Don’t do that unless you want this to go a lot further than it is right now,” Jeremy threatened against his mouth.

Michael continued to palm him teasingly. “What if I want it to go further?” he questioned with a smirk. God, he’d wanted this for so long. Even feeling him up through his jeans was marvelous. “You know how long I’ve wanted this? How long I’ve wanted to touch you like this?”

Jeremy moaned at his words, quickly moving to unbutton his own pants and pull them down to his thighs. “Then what are you waiting for?” he challenged and he brought Michael’s hand to hover over where he needed him most. 

Michael groaned and lightly touched him over the thin fabric. He looked up at Jeremy, whose gaze was zoned in on Michael’s hand, breath heavy and heart beating rapidly. God, the control he had over him was intoxicating. “You want me to touch you?” Michael murmured, answering his own question as he palmed him. 

Jeremy gasped. “Yes,” he answered shortly, bucking his hips into his best friend’s hand. 

Michael couldn’t help but kiss those open lips just begging for attention. He was so engrossed on Jeremy’s mouth that he almost didn’t realize that Jeremy grabbed his hand and renavigated his hand inside his boxers to touch him properly without any boundaries. And fuck, did he feel incredible to be able to do what he’d wanted to do to Jeremy for years.

“Michael,” Jeremy sighed, head tilted back as he regained his breathing. 

Michael couldn’t help but feel prideful that he was the one making Jeremy feel this way. That he was the one getting to see what happened when Jeremy was turn on, or kissed senseless, or desperate for a touch that Michael got to provide. It was beyond words. 

It almost felt strange to have something you’ve wished for for so long come true. But instinct quickly took over, and Michael felt that his movements became natural. It felt like a puzzle finally coming together when he took Jeremy firmly in his grasp and began to stroke him, and Jeremy responded in the most beautiful way. Michael brought his other hand down to cup his balls, his thumb rubbing over Jeremy’s slit to collect the precome gathered there to slick his entire cock. 

“God, I’m so happy right now,” Michael admitted with a lame grin, longing to make eye contact with Jeremy, who currently had closed lids in response to Michael’s touch. 

“Faster, please, Michael,” Jeremy panted out. Said teen obeyed, his hand going faster, sliding up and down his slicked up dick. He felt so right, to be touching Jeremy like this, to be the one who got to see him fall apart. His nerves were on the backburner and Michael relied on his instincts and Jeremy’s lusty reactions to guide his way.

“Feel good?” Michael commented, feeling himself get harder the more he pleasured his crush. His spit on his hand quickly to lubricate his way, and couldn’t help but gaze at the sight before him. Jeremy was flushed down to his collarbone, three purple bruises littering his left side. His eyes were lidded and head throw back trying to take in all the pleasure Michael was granting him. 

“So good, Michael, I-I’m close,” Jeremy gasped with a heaving chest. 

“Wanna come?” Michael teased, hips unconsciously bucking onto Jeremy’s thigh. This was the hottest he’d ever been in his life. 

Jeremy simply nodded, increasingly bucking his hips in time with Michael’s strokes. It wasn’t long in that position before Jeremy moaned out brokenly, coming in spurts over Michael’s hand and his own chest. Michael kept stroking him through it until he whimpered for the overstimulation, batting Michael’s hand away weakly. 

“Shit, is there any tissues in here?” Michael spoke through the silence of their pants, his mind still clouded with pent up lust and sexual desire for the man in front of him. He took a panoramic view of the room, seeing some on the dresser. “Jer, go grab them.”

Jeremy obeyed, haphazardly prying his bottoms back up and lazily crawling over to the dresser to grab a few before cleaning off his own chest and moving to Michael’s hand. They didn’t share any words while Jeremy went through each finger, wiping the remnants of his come. The simple act felt heightened to something incredibly intimate, Jeremy’s movements slow and deliberate, inching his way across Michael’s digits like he wanted to memorize the way. 

After he finished, Jeremy tossed the trash over the bed, too tired to try and look for a proper trash can. He looked back at Michael, eyes still dark with lust even in the shitty lighting the small lamp was giving them. He grabbed his face, taking advantage of their vulnerable states to get to kiss Michael.

Michael sighed into his mouth, opening up quickly to deepen the kiss. He caressed Jeremy’s soft cheek, cradling the side of his face with his palm. He laid Jeremy back down, caging him back under his body. When Jeremy’s hand snaked back down to his lower chest, Michael couldn’t help but grind down on his crush. He’d never been more turned on in his life. 

“Can you take these off?” Jeremy asked quietly, referencing to Michael’s jeans. Michael answering him with an awkward shuffle while Jeremy pulled both his pants and boxers down to his thighs. “Shit, Michael, I think you might need to get u-”

“I don’t care, just touch me,” Michael cut him off, kissing him and trying not to let his arms give out. Jeremy could practically feel the desperation in Michael’s voice, and took his lower lip in his mouth and roughly grabbed onto his cock. 

Michael groaned at all the stimulation, feeling another spurt of precome gushing out of his hard dick. Jeremy’s nimble fingers felt perfect on the most sensitive part of him. This was all his nothing on his imagination. He let his head fall in the junction between Jeremy’s neck and shoulder with a groan. God, at this rate, he wouldn’t last much longer. 

“Fuck, Jer,” Michael moaned, biting down on his collarbone to steady himself. 

“Your dick is really gorgeous,” Jeremy commented, eyes looming down to the object of his sentence. It was the perfect amount of thickness and fit like it belonged in his hand. God, he was so far gone. 

Michael couldn’t help but chuckle. Jeremy giggled along with him, shivering at the vibrations from Michael’s laugh on his collarbone. Jeremy's hand slowed and got shaky as they fell into a laughing fit, Michael’s own arms becoming shaky. “Stop making me laugh, and let me jerk you off” Jeremy managed between laughs.

“Okay, okay,” Michael sighed, licking his lips and gazing at Jeremy’s. The two already knew what to do as their faces mushed together once more, frantically trying to get a close as possible. They continued this improvised dance for awhile, interchanging between mouth and jaw kisses while Jeremy continued his tight strokes on Michael’s dick. 

“Jer,” Michael moaned out in warning only a few minutes closer. He would’ve been embarrassed were he not so turned on. 

“Come on, Michael, just let it go,” Jeremy encouraged, getting impossibly faster and twisting his hand in such a way that had Michael choking out a groan as he finished all over his friend. 

“God, sorry, I got you all dirty,” Michael said after rediscovering how to breathe. He looked at the mess he left over the boy beneath him, white streaks covering his half naked crush. He willed his dick not to get hard again. 

“It’s okay. It’s kinda hot, actually,” Jeremy smiled shyly, looking back up at the ceiling. “My hand’s kinda sore now though.”

Michael laughed while shimmying his pants back up his hips. He reached for the extra tissues Jeremy grabbed earlier to spot at the leftover mess. When he turned back, his mouth dropped open. Jeremy had dipped a come covered finger into his mouth, curiously lapping it up. “What the hell, Jer?” Michael exclaimed, his dick twitching painfully through his boxers.   
“Sorry,” Jeremy’s face got red from embarrassment. “I’ve always wanted to try it,” he stated simply, as if he was talking about something much more innocent than his actions. 

“Fuck, you’re gonna be the fucking death of me,” Michael replied, shaking his head and cleaning up the rest of the mess as best he could. When finished, he laid back down next to Jeremy, shoulders touching. 

Michael had no clue what the next step was for them. He didn’t know how much longer him and Jeremy would stay in this drunk, sexed up bubble. Maybe the next five minutes, maybe the rest of the summer, he couldn’t say. He never thought he’d even reach this far in their relationship, and now the rest was completely uncharted waters, nothing Michael could have even studied. 

He looked over at Jeremy, whose eyes were closed, breathing becoming more stable. He’d always been quick to fall asleep, Michael knew after years of sleepovers where he’d stay up all night wishing those not-so-friendly feelings for his best friend would disappear while Jeremy slept unknowingly three feet away. 

As much as Michael wanted to continue his helpless journey into the unknowns of his mind, he too felt the familiar wave of exhaustion hit him. 

He’d deal with the repercussions in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos keep me alive and make me feel less like i live under a rock


End file.
